Many people entering the metaphysical realm or path seem to think that everything is going to be roses and only good things will happen to them. It could not be further from the truth. As things begin to unfold – such as health issues and the repayment of karma – many people walk away, not able to believe that Spirit would allow this to happen, unaware that this has to happen because one cannot be blemished from the past going into the future. Another belief is the fact that we see ourselves as good people in this incarnation. Why are we going through this? Why are we suffering? Why is Spirit allowing this to happen? What have I done to deserve this?
Of course, it is all past-life related or from prior experiences in this life, but our Self cannot see this. It is hurting big time and it does not like what is happening. At the same time, it knows that every time we let go of something from the past, it no longer has any power because the Self lives in the past all of the time, hanging on to the pain and suffering. It enjoys playing the victim and the martyr. It gets so much attention from doing so. Early on in life it realizes how much sympathy one can get from being sick and playing the victim/martyr.
All of those years as I was releasing all the issues from my past, my Self fought my letting go by bringing in fear, doubt, insecurity – all of which were not only a part of my life lessons in this lifetime to free myself from, but they also held me back metaphysically. I cannot tell you how many times it told me to get out of metaphysics and go back to the life I knew before (which to the Self was the comfort zone).