Looking back over my life, I can see so many times – thousands if not millions of times – when my Self had control and squeezed each emotion for all it was worth. Often this was done in public. After all, with my Moon (emotions) in Leo (emotions colored by Leo, the starmaker, the drama queen), why would it not be in public? In past lives I had felt unworthy and a “nobody;” I wanted to be a “somebody.” The Self would get noticed by acting out its pain in the public arena. Of course, looking back I can see how stupid I looked and how silly it was, but I could not see it then because my Self was in control!
Since 2004, I have spent the years learning how to let go of the emotions. It has not been easy. It was like stepping on and off a bus. Sometimes I would react and the Self would give it everything it had, and at other times I had it in control. As I stated earlier, it is not good to hold the emotions in, nor is it good to react either. Actually both waste energy. Surprisingly, one wastes energy demonstrating their emotions and yet, when one stifles them, one holds in the energy. Energy contained is energy that becomes dis-ease and eventually disease. We then have to use energy to heal the disease and make ourselves well. In addition, we do not realize just how much emotion we have carried inside us from past lives. Energy does not go away until we deal with it, but letting it out can also cause problems for those around us who are usually the whipping posts for our energy! Whether it be an animal in our house or a human being, they take the brunt of our emotions, often taking them into their own energy.