It is not easy giving no energy to things we would normally react to. A lot of what we do is programming or conditioning and also energy left over from past lives. The first thing to do is to be aware of what one is doing. Once one begins to do that, then it is a matter of not reacting when it happens again. In my friend’s case, when it first happened she was devastated. It was a family member whom she had been extremely close to. She tried to heal the wound which had come between them, but two other parties were involved, and this person supported the other two – who were even closer to them. My friend, of course, never stopped talking about the issue, how hurt she was, how this person had treated her, etc., and at every opportunity the Self would have her crying. Her Self brought other people in to keep the subject current so that even more energy was given to it. She happened to have a career where she had clients visiting her, and her clients kept the subject current. Of course, the Self, the actress within her, loved telling her story because it evoked sympathy. Yes, the Self was on a roll.
Maitreya could see what was happening and so created a situation where she was faced with this person again, and this time the same thing happened. The Self came in, but then a part of my friend could finally see it was the other person’s problem, not hers. She was just reacting because she was very upset and felt abandoned. I pointed out to her that she was still loved by me, her clients, and the rest of her family. It was the other person’s loss that she was no longer in their life. They could not see that, but it was so. Finally, she was able to see it for herself and peace ensued.