I have had some students who, when the Self has come in and sabotaged them, have made the choice not to go on with their study. The power of the Self and fear is so strong. The Self is an expert in bringing up the fear and often has hidden away pockets of fear for the future so that, even when one has dealt with one’s issues, there will be something it can bring out if it needs it. It is not easy as we pull back the layers of past-life and present-life issues to cope with.
My worst year for me was in 1998. It was a horrible year. I faced some pretty horrific fears which I had created in a past life. Maitreya told me it was not easy watching me go through that experience. I set it up for myself right down to having a daily paper delivered where every single day I had to see my actions – which brought out even more fear.
This was to do with something I have written about in my book, Born To Be A Channel, where I had to face my fear on the 6:00 PM news as the lead story. By this time I had already faced so much fear since connecting with Maitreya, and this would not be the last experience either. It just kept going after this experience and, like my graduate student, I remember asking at the time, “When will this end?” It was to be another 11 years before it got to a level where I could actually say it was mostly over. But now, of course, with the TV show I am facing new challenges. Hopefully there will be no fear anymore, but I cannot say “No” definitely to that as I have only just walked through the door to the new experience.