Different Subjects – Continued

Nothing else really happened after that until I came into Maitreya’s energy, and he wrote his first newsletter about gay people – except he did not call them gay. He told me that he liked to call them “free” as they are free. They had come out and been true to themselves. I was shocked. How could he do this? Over many months of teaching through various books, his personal words, and reading over and over his newsletter on the subject, I gradually let go of my fear – for it had been a fear. I came to the realization that, no matter what, love is love and it should not be limited to just a man and a woman. I came to the awareness that I was happy to be heterosexual, and wanted a man as my partner. However, I began to soften to the idea of a woman – woman, man – man relationship and felt embarrassed that I had run away from one in my early years.

In the last 60 years we have come a long way from the days of Quentin Crisp. Ironically in a way, AIDS (which originally frightened everyone including homosexuals) became the means of understanding these people. Instead of dividing people, it brought out support for them. I remember the film star, Rock Hudson, coming out just before he died. Apparently, he had always been gay but had hidden it very successfully all of his life. Today, very few people are afraid to come out. It is accepted as part of our culture. For years in Sydney, Australia, they have had a gay parade each year with not only adults attending but children also. How we have changed in 60 years since Quentin Crisp. I am so looking forward to attending this wedding, not only because I know the couple personally, but it will be a celebration of two people who love each other, and love is the most important thing of all.


Working for Spirit – Continued

The more I released from the past though (and there was heaps of stuff as the years went by), the more the Higher Self was able to function. For 14 years – despite my being a very respectable reader/healer/past-life therapist/ teacher/astrologer – the Self had control over me. It was not until after 1999 that the Higher Self really began to kick in and was then able to lead me and guide me to solutions to deal with the Self part of me and not have me in so much fear of it. Yes, I was lucky to have such a teacher as Maitreya, but even though his presence in my life was strong, he could not do anything to help me, as I needed to find the answers on my own. At times, it was not easy. Maitreya’s love and guidance, though, was an incredible help during that time despite his not being able to help me at times.

Like everyone else – despite having a master teacher to help me – I was alone in going through it. My students have said that they do not know how I did it as they have me to question and to give them the answers, but I did do it and feel proud of the fact I did it on my own.

Even when I went with Alan and the past-life energy began to emerge, my Self had a field day until I was able to face the fear and move away from it. It was a very strong energy, and the Self did not want to give it up. Alan’s Self also had fun coming in and making the fear worse, as tones in his voice and certain actions triggered the memory of that past life we had spent together. Finally, in 2009, I was free of it, but it had been quite a struggle over the previous five years.


Christmas 2 – Continued

The world is the way it is also because of past-life energy. In his astrological natal chart Alan has Chiron, the wounded healer (representing his deepest wounds), in the 3rd house of communications and brothers and sisters. There are deep wounds there for him both from this life and from past lives. Only when we can learn to let go of the emotions and the hurts inside of us can we move on and find peace in our lives from these kinds of happenings. One of his sisters speaks to him, the other does not – nor does she want to. It is so sad this is happening, but again, welcome to the energy of past lives.

There is a bigger lesson here though, and he has to thank both of his sisters for helping him to learn the lesson this is bringing, for it has to do with emotional detachment. It is teaching him to let go of all emotional attachment to his family – and especially to his sisters. It is something we are all here to learn in this incarnation, to let go of the emotional body and to move on. That does not mean we need to be frigid, cool, or uncompassionate, but just to let go of attachment to people, places and things.

It has been one of the hardest things for me to learn in this lifetime because I did have an attachment to people, places and things. Over the years though, the Universe in its wisdom has taken away that attachment leaving me with love, commitment, understanding, and a feeling of peace within without being emotionally attached. There is a difference between the above and being attached emotionally – a big difference. We cannot go through these experiences unless we have people to help us do this, but often we take it so seriously that we cannot see the purpose behind the actions.


General Stuff 2 – Continued

There are so many books written about when we die, and many of them are a waste of time reading them. I am sorry, but that is the way I feel about it. Each version is what they think it is like, or what they have been told. Thanks to my teachers and to Maitreya, I have been able to actually see what it is truly like from the moment we die until we have passed through the reception areas. Believe me, it is nothing to be frightened of at all. Yet, we have such a fear of death and dying!

For instance, it is not a place where we are punished, told we are sinners, or where we have to pay for anything we have done wrong. The Ultimate Being, or God, is such a loving, compassionate energy. Yes, it is sad when you have come home perhaps without learning anything, but that energy does not chastise you. In fact, the love it embraces you with is so complete, so beautiful, that one cannot believe any energy could give you so much love. It is you who are disappointed in yourself for not learning or changing – no one else.

Thousands of souls return each day, not learning anything at all, and none of them is made to suffer in any way. Only love is given and, believe me, in that Presence one feels as if one is home. Usually though, there is a soul memory of religion, belief systems, conditioning etc., and it is this that has to be removed before one can move forward into true Spirit and past the reception areas. One sees the imperfections one has when one has to look at one’s life. This is done at the very beginning of the process after one has had a rest from passing over. Some people have a traumatic passing, and something like that really makes an impact on the soul memory. It takes time in the next world to release and remove this energy, but one cannot move on until it has been removed.


Going Back in Time – Continued

When we are young we have not yet learned about life. We (women, that is) are looking for that Knight in Shining Armor, someone to protect us and care for us. In my early years, I needed a partner; I did not function well alone at all. Now, of course – forty years on – I love being alone and, when Alan occasionally has to go away, I revel in the time I have alone. But I always look forward to him coming home. It is nice to be alone, and I know that if anything happened to Alan I would not have another partner. Although I know nothing will happen to him, it is nice to know that I am not reliant on a man to be in my life. I have come to learn that love is actually non-existent. What does exist is a caring nature, someone to be there for me, someone who does not criticize what I do or how I do it, someone who does not hit or turn violent against me. It is someone who, when I am sick, will clean up my vomit and wash out my panties and clean the toilet. To me, that is love.

You cannot own love either. Love will not be owned or manipulated. Love is caring unconditionally for a mother, father, partner, family member, child, animal, or whatever it responds to. Love does not hate nor dislike. Love understands the differences in each other, accepts the differences, and does not run away when its partner gets crabby. More than anything, love is forgiving. Men are different from women – totally different – and they cannot think like women. Nor can women be and think like men. When we understand each other though and do not become obsessed with having that person in our life, only then can we be at peace with ourselves and with our partners.