The more I released from the past though (and there was heaps of stuff as the years went by), the more the Higher Self was able to function. For 14 years – despite my being a very respectable reader/healer/past-life therapist/ teacher/astrologer – the Self had control over me. It was not until after 1999 that the Higher Self really began to kick in and was then able to lead me and guide me to solutions to deal with the Self part of me and not have me in so much fear of it. Yes, I was lucky to have such a teacher as Maitreya, but even though his presence in my life was strong, he could not do anything to help me, as I needed to find the answers on my own. At times, it was not easy. Maitreya’s love and guidance, though, was an incredible help during that time despite his not being able to help me at times.
Like everyone else – despite having a master teacher to help me – I was alone in going through it. My students have said that they do not know how I did it as they have me to question and to give them the answers, but I did do it and feel proud of the fact I did it on my own.
Even when I went with Alan and the past-life energy began to emerge, my Self had a field day until I was able to face the fear and move away from it. It was a very strong energy, and the Self did not want to give it up. Alan’s Self also had fun coming in and making the fear worse, as tones in his voice and certain actions triggered the memory of that past life we had spent together. Finally, in 2009, I was free of it, but it had been quite a struggle over the previous five years.