Tag Archives: guilty

Differences – Final Words

I no longer feel different, weird, or guilty because I do not like certain foods. I no longer feel guilty because, some days when I am not working, I sit in my nightdress until noon and sometimes even later. This really affected me for a long time as I really wanted to do it. I had done it with my ex-husband, and he had not minded at all, but with Alan I did not feel “right” about doing it. Then one day Alan spent all day in his pajamas. He only did it once, but it opened up the door for me to spend an entire day (and even more days when not working) in my nightdress. I asked myself why I felt guilty and not feel that I could spend all day this way? Then I realized it was the way I had been raised. I chose parents who were very set in their ways, and my upbringing was very conservative. We had a special outfit which we wore only on Sunday or for weddings or special occasions. We were to be seen and not heard, and we dared not step outside of the way we were either.

I remember at 22 years of age asking my first husband if I could have the light on to read in bed. This was just not allowed at home (despite being in my late teens), and I dared not go against what my parents said. I remember my husband telling me not to ask him, that I was married now and could do what I wanted. It was just sheer heaven lying there in bed every night with the light on, reading. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. It took many years to get out of my habits of childhood and to free myself to please myself, but each relationship brought fresh challenges with regard to the differences we shared. I was a slow learner too, hence the length of time it took to let go of it. Today, I relish in my uniqueness and realize that if people do not like what I do, it is their issue. I do agree with Maitreya though in that, if we do not learn to understand the differences between each other, we cannot change the world. Let us hope that we can do this over the next 50 years. I have a feeling we can at least improve it anyway.

Margaret McElroy

Going back in Time – Continued

It was only after the baby – a little girl – was born and I was in the hospital all alone that I began to become aware of my actions, what I had done, and how obsessive I had been. Whether it was Spirit or just my awareness that I created it I do not know, but I became aware of my need for affection and love. I looked back over the 5 years of being with Pete and came to the realization that I was the one who had pursued the whole affair. He was too weak to fight me or too frightened. I could not blame the baby and what happened to him; it was all my doing. I could have had an abortion, but no, I was going to make him suffer or want to be with me again. The moment I became aware of my own folly and of what I had done I was mortified. I felt ashamed, guilty, and after the adoption had taken place, I wrote him a long letter telling him I did not blame him. He wrote back and said he had to get married. Cathy, his girlfriend, was pregnant and basically he was, in a way, asking me to go back with him.

Of course, I didn’t. A year later I married the man who was in the army, but this time my relationship was different. When we were courting before we married, I did not allow myself to become obsessed with him. We wrote to each other for some time before we got married as he was overseas. I had grown enormously, and my life was different because of that growth. I was no longer desperate for love, but I was witnessing people around me who were. I could recognize their issues because of what I had gone through myself. Forty years later I was again looking at the same syndrome with the beautiful young woman sitting before me.

Continued…..

Talk

Do you realize how much your talking can cause trouble? Do you realize that you have the power to create positive or negative energy on the earth plane with your words? How often have you said words that were unkind or untrue? “Isn’t her dress awful!” “Have you seen how she does that!” “He does that all the time!” Such simple statements, but they can have such devastating effects. Change the wording though and it is completely different. “Her dress is unusual; its not my taste of course!” “That’s her way of doing things – but it isn’t mine!” “I don’t think he realizes he does that all the time!” and the energy becomes totally different.

Humanity has become so careless with words. The majority of you never think before you speak. You never consider how your words will affect people. Once they are spoken they cannot be reclaimed. People have even created new karma in their lives because of the words they say.

If the earth plane is to change and peace is to reign in all areas of life, humanity will need to change this aspect of itself. There is so much talk that is unnecessary, negative, and nasty. In relationships especially, words can be destroying and devastating. I understand when you are in pain that you find it hard to control your feelings and your words, but unless you do, you will continue to keep making the same mistakes.

So you do not like your friend’s clothes or the way they dress, yet you have to make mention of it. Why? Because it is what has always been done? Perhaps your parents did it and they have passed the trend on to you? Perhaps it is for attention. Perhaps you dislike the person and want vengeance. Whatever the cause, it can change! Think before you speak. Watch your words. Is what you say of your truth? Are you uttering words of comfort, confidence, positive energy? If you find yourself not in this group and want to change. Start today. Just be aware of what you are saying each and every moment of the day. Do not expect to change every statement immediately for it will take time to change all that you say or utter, but you can start one statement at a time, one word at a time. By doing this, your awareness will allow you to see exactly what you are doing. Do not feel angry, confused, or guilty because you cannot change immediately or you keep “messing up” as you say on the earth plane. Just keep going forward one step at a time. As you do, you will then make the changes necessary in every way.

Maitreya