I no longer feel different, weird, or guilty because I do not like certain foods. I no longer feel guilty because, some days when I am not working, I sit in my nightdress until noon and sometimes even later. This really affected me for a long time as I really wanted to do it. I had done it with my ex-husband, and he had not minded at all, but with Alan I did not feel “right” about doing it. Then one day Alan spent all day in his pajamas. He only did it once, but it opened up the door for me to spend an entire day (and even more days when not working) in my nightdress. I asked myself why I felt guilty and not feel that I could spend all day this way? Then I realized it was the way I had been raised. I chose parents who were very set in their ways, and my upbringing was very conservative. We had a special outfit which we wore only on Sunday or for weddings or special occasions. We were to be seen and not heard, and we dared not step outside of the way we were either.
I remember at 22 years of age asking my first husband if I could have the light on to read in bed. This was just not allowed at home (despite being in my late teens), and I dared not go against what my parents said. I remember my husband telling me not to ask him, that I was married now and could do what I wanted. It was just sheer heaven lying there in bed every night with the light on, reading. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. It took many years to get out of my habits of childhood and to free myself to please myself, but each relationship brought fresh challenges with regard to the differences we shared. I was a slow learner too, hence the length of time it took to let go of it. Today, I relish in my uniqueness and realize that if people do not like what I do, it is their issue. I do agree with Maitreya though in that, if we do not learn to understand the differences between each other, we cannot change the world. Let us hope that we can do this over the next 50 years. I have a feeling we can at least improve it anyway.