Tag Archives: emotion

Emotions – Continued

Looking back over my life, I can see so many times – thousands if not millions of times – when my Self had control and squeezed each emotion for all it was worth. Often this was done in public. After all, with my Moon  (emotions) in Leo (emotions colored by Leo, the starmaker, the drama queen), why would it not be in public? In past lives I had felt unworthy and a “nobody;” I wanted to be a “somebody.” The Self would get noticed by acting out its pain in the public arena. Of course, looking back I can see how stupid I looked and how silly it was, but I could not see it then because my Self was in control!

Since 2004, I have spent the years learning how to let go of the emotions. It has not been easy. It was like stepping on and off a bus. Sometimes I would react and the Self would give it everything it had, and at other times I had it in control. As I stated earlier, it is not good to hold the emotions in, nor is it good to react either. Actually both waste energy. Surprisingly, one wastes energy demonstrating their emotions and yet, when one stifles them, one holds in the energy. Energy contained is energy that becomes dis-ease and eventually disease. We then have to use energy to heal the disease and make ourselves well. In addition, we do not realize just how much emotion we have carried inside us from past lives. Energy does not go away until we deal with it, but letting it out can also cause problems for those around us who are usually the whipping posts for our energy! Whether it be an animal in our house or a human being, they take the brunt of our emotions, often taking them into their own energy.

Continued…..

Emotions

Our emotions rule our lives. While we have emotions, we have no chance of raising our vibration or of moving forward on our life path. Recently, I got to see what our emotions do to us and I also watched myself as I used to be. It was quite an interesting experience. We are all emotional beings. I will admit that there are some people who do not demonstrate their emotions outwardly. These people feel them, but do not express them. Actually, holding the emotions in is one of the worst things one can do. I can hear you asking, “But if we hold it in, surely that is doing what you tell us to do, not give it any energy,” but it is not. One has to not care about what is said or done to us – give it no energy – but that does not mean to say that we do not have compassion, understanding, or even love for the situation or person involved.

When we hold it in, the energy stays within. When we react, we waste energy by being concerned and reacting (usually) with a great deal of energy. The Self part of us is our emotions and the emotional body. It is an actor and it loves the drama that emotions bring. I have said many times that I was an Oscar winning performer. When my Self was in control, it would squeeze each emotion for all it was worth, feeling sorry for itself, and acting just as if it were in one of the TV soap operas. I was not only that way in this lifetime, but also in other lifetimes. It was a recurring theme, and my Self loved it. Trying to stop reacting to things is very hard. All of my life I got so upset over people hurting me and I gave energy to all of it. As I look back I say, “What a waste of energy it was!”

Continued…..

Working for Spirit – Continued

After 1999, things got a lot better for me – in fact, so much better that I could not believe it, but I had spent all those prior years working through karma, health issues, and bringing an incredible amount of emotion to the surface. A lot of the health issues evoked fear so abject that I was in terror at times. For instance, the pain in my leg started without any warning and thankfully, as the time passed, I was shown where it came from, but not before I had experienced chronic severe pain in my leg which left me wondering if I did have something such as bone cancer. Thankfully, a past-life regression removed it immediately after only one session. I had limped into the bedroom in such pain to have the past-life session and, when I was finished, the pain and everything associated with it was gone. It is almost as if, once you work for Spirit and open yourself up to metaphysics, everything from the past which has not been removed comes to the surface to be dealt with.

Thinking about it on a deeper level, it would have to be that way because those in the next world cannot work with us on a higher vibration until we remove any blocks we have put there. We cannot move forward in consciousness while we are carrying all the old energy. I also found that, as I cleared away the health issues, faced the fears, etc., I became more intuitive and sensitive. Although some things did clear up after 1999, I still had a big issue I needed to clear with the man who was to come into my life in 1994, my present husband, Alan. Had I known what I was to go through with that, I would never have agreed to even see him, never mind spend time with and marry him. If those in the next world had told me what would happen I would never have allowed it, it is as simple as that.

Continued…..

Thanksgiving and Other Things – Continued

How many times do we actually think to thank somebody? I remember when Maitreya taught me about people mirroring for me and showing me what I did not want to see in myself; I could not bring myself to do what he asked in the beginning and to thank those people for doing this. Without them I could not move forward.

Many years later, a friend stayed in my home in an apartment below our living quarters. It was set up to be self-contained and, as she had nowhere to stay for a few months, I offered her this apartment to live in. She was a member of an amateur dramatic group and was very emotional in everything she did. I was an emotional person also and everything I did was on huge, dramatic levels. Each day this friend would come up to our house where I lived with my ex-husband and mirror for me the emotional person I was. I could see and feel it so clearly. Thanking her – whether directly or silently – was a difficult thing for me though. It took a lot of energy on my point to not only thank her silently, but also to stop being emotional and become emotionally detached. She had chosen to come into my life to do this, and at the same time was learning things herself about living with other people in their apartment. It was the beginning of my becoming detached. The Universe had tried to do this – to teach me detachment – a few years prior to this through another emotional situation. I had even seen it clairvoyantly, yet I could not step out of the old programming no matter how hard I tried. I had been as emotional as I could be and was thoroughly ashamed of the way I had behaved because I knew better. So, I was finally free of emotional attachment and, from then on, my life changed in such a way.

Continued…..

Advice and Guidance – Continued

Before we left for Curacao, I did as I felt I was to do and looked at my health transits for that time. Lo and behold, there was my problem in front of me. The recommendation was for me to take magnesium sulphate. Imagine my surprise when I got to Curacao and my graduate student (whom I had gone to visit) told me that she felt I needed to get some magnesium sulphate to help my problem. I immediately went online and ordered some for when I got home.

Sometimes a voice will speak to me as if standing behind me. I have written before in this blog of when, in the very early days, a voice told me to “get some B6” as I was extremely depressed with the hormonal changes taking place within my body due to my spiritual development. When I did get the B6, the symptoms stopped within two days. I can say that I am very blessed to have this information, either directly or through a second party. I also respect and receive any advice my doctor from Spirit gives me. It often saves me a wasted visit to the doctor’s office. I do not disrespect doctors, but I am very aware of how our minds, past lives, and stress can affect our lives and create dis-ease within us. I try hard not to let that happen to me – which is hard when one has raised one’s vibration and is extremely sensitive. I pick up everyone’s energy and, although it allows me to see deep into the problems people have, it also creates a lot of emotion for me in the fact that I cry a lot in releasing and often have a feeling in my heart where I cannot breathe until I do release that energy.

Continued…..