Many years later, I have learned to live in the now and not be afraid of change. I actually look forward to it each time it comes. Each change has taken me to the next level of my destiny, but it also has taken a long time. Some of the e-mails I received this week asked, “When is it going to happen?” “When am I going to get the rewards?” I hate to tell them that the rewards do not come until one learns the lessons, but this is the truth.
I remember sitting in my office in New Zealand in 1998 begging God to help me use my energy to help people. I honestly thought I was ready to do that. This was before I had the invitation to speak at the UN, and I suppose, in a way, that energy did give me the opportunity to use it, but I did not realize that I had another 12 years to go before I would be allowed to have the freedom to go where I needed to.
I was so impatient! The path to spiritual development is the hardest path anyone can take. It is fraught with frustration, fear, doubt, lack of confidence, and low self-esteem. If one has spent many incarnations fighting the Self but not dealing with issues, it can be a long, hard road. Eventually though, one gets to a place where there is very little to face any more and one is at peace – total peace. There are no worries or cares. What you need is provided, and the Self (although still there) is controlled most of the time.
I saw myself in every one of the e-mails I received this week. It is so hard for me to write to these people and tell them that this is what they have chosen and that they cannot blame anyone else but themselves. Even worse, the people they are having problems with and are angry with are the ones who have come to help them to face those issues. That often goes over like a lead balloon!