Speak Your Truth 2

Today Margaret talks about her experiences when getting sub-standard services and why she regrets it when she doesn’t speak her truth.


Criticizing Others

Why do we waste energy criticizing others? What are they here to show us that we don’t want to see.


Severe Testing – Final Chapter

I must rephrase the last statement in this blog. I actually chose, because of Alan not being comfortable with the situation, not to stew on it. He did not stop me, I allowed myself to be stopped by my Self. For me, Maitreya had spent years telling me that, if I did not complain quietly and clearly, how would people know there was a problem? How could things be changed? Alan said things would not be changed, but at least if I wrote or spoke and addressed myself, I would release the energy of frustration which tended to explode inside of me if I did not release it. Far better to speak my truth or write it than have that happen.

In MY truth, I believe things can be changed. I have to learn to go with my own feelings, not be frightened or concerned about others truth. I knew as always that Maitreya was correct. He has never been wrong, and so I have made a decision: no more Leo Moon explosions. It is a waste of energy and also very exhausting to go through.

The day after I wrote the letter, suddenly everything fell into place in the kitchen. Everything seemed to come together, and I was able to see the kitchen in its full glory. As I write, the final touches are being put into place by those who know what they are doing. By the evening of writing this blog I should have a kitchen sink and water to wash the dishes. I am sure that in the future I will find myself renovating a kitchen again, and I am sure I will be severely tested again. However, I have the solution now and will no longer allow the Leo Moon to react the way it did. I have to now try and teach this to others. As for Alan, well, he said to me the other day that perhaps he should complain, and I feel he is starting to soften on that subject. One thing I can say, it is far less stressful writing a letter/email – or speaking quietly and clearly one’s truth – than bottling the energy up inside and not releasing it. So much better!

Severe Testing – Continued

It made me think of how many times we do explode and have anger. Yet if we just wrote down that emotion – whether we emailed/mailed it or not – how much easier it would be without all the drama, stress etc., I was looking for things externally to explain the problems I had endured and were still were, and yet the answer was so easy. I just could not access it. The Self loved the dramatics, but finally the Higher Self said, (Yawn) “Do we have to go through the drama again?” and finally showed me a better way.

Both Alan and I as Libra’s have hated upsetting anyone. We have feared rejection, and only a few weeks ago Alan made mention of the fact that he does not complain. He puts up with the situation until it explodes within him, just like it did with me. I thought of the world and what if everyone in the world, instead of getting angry, just wrote their feelings down. I am sure the world would be a better place.

There was something for me about writing it down. First of all I was able to shut off the anger which wanted to come out. I felt quite a peace sitting at the keyboard and typing the letter, I was able to see the situation better, clearer, and was able to write of the experience with clarity. I chose not to put Alan’s name on the email; it was my complaint after all – MY truth – nobody else’s. It felt so good to express my frustrations and say what I felt. After I had wrote it and emailed it, it was gone.

In the past I would have allowed the Self to stew on it until there was very little meat left. Boy, what an “Aha” moment! I remember when I first moved in with Alan how embarrassed he had been over my complaining about things publicly – and also quite vocally – yet without anger. At that time, I had just started doing it and I basically shut it down because it affected him, and each time I said I would do it he would talk me out of it.


Severe Testing – Continued

I realized that all I needed to do in the past was to speak my truth quietly and clearly, but I had not done so. I had kept all the frustration and anger at the situation inside of me and never really released it in the right way. Usually my family/husbands were the ones who felt the wrath of my Moon in Leo temper/anger. The whole kitchen situation was trying to teach me NOT to give it any energy and to find a way to deal with the frustration and anger without exploding – which is what my Leo Moon did every time. It had taken years to learn this lesson, however I did not learn that lesson until now.

After sending the letter it was as if a peace came over me. Why did I not do that before? Each time there had been problems in the past I had swallowed them and not complained to anyone when I should have done so. I was frightened of upsetting people and of them being upset with me. What a waste of energy having that fear! It was the way my soul had dealt with the situation over and over, and finally I got over the fear. It was not about the kitchen. The kitchen was just a prop to enable me to learn the lesson about expressing myself quietly and clearly.

For a short while I felt stupid, why did I not see this before? I could not see it because the Self was there. My Self loves the drama of every situation. It is the Leo Moon part of me. I have said before that I am capable of the most Oscar-winning performance and yet could have dealt with the situation so much easier had I just written my letter of complaint with truth and conviction, but no anger.