Disasters – Continued

It was the same with the recession move. I had a beautiful house out in the country – we had chickens, a goat, a dog and an acre of land. It was my dream home (note to Self: do not attach to dream home) and we spent some money on it to make it even nicer. The fact that a voice from behind me had told me not to take on anything other than the mortgage when we moved into it went above my then-husband’s ears. He leased a car and then, when the recession came, we could not afford to pay both that and the mortgage. Was I not told that? The thing is, he would not listen, and so the inevitable happened. We could not manage financially and ended up walking away from the house.

Of course, this was designed to help me move into the metaphysical world and it did just that, but the change that came with it and what I had to go through was so hard that I am surprised I survived it. I did, even though I had to cope with everything alone due to my then-husband having a nervous breakdown, leaving me to cope all on my own. I became a lot stronger and, of course, it did what it was meant to do. A year later, it led me to the beginning of my metaphysical path. My Self, of course, blamed my husband and his lease of the car (I was not aware then of the fact that I am responsible for my own reality). My Self hated living in the small, cramped apartment we had to rent. It did not like having only one dress and having to wash it every night before I could wear it the next day, often hanging it on the line all night and wearing it damp until the sun dried it the next day. It never stopped moaning and made me so depressed that I almost took my own life. Such is the power of the Self!

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Disasters – Continued

Disasters force us to change; so do other catastrophic events. We often cannot see that the change can be for the better – not for worse. For some reason, our Self sees change as ominous, frightening. That is what my Self saw when I made changes, yet each time that change has been so positive and has taken me on to a new level of existence. When I lived in England, it was so hard to manage financially. Our move to Australia gave us so much more financially. Also, the weather being sunny for most of the year created such a happy environment for the children who had, until then, spent their time inside the house watching the rain through the window or watching gray skies most days. We could afford to eat meat, something we had difficulty in purchasing in England due to its high price. We shot ahead financially and materially. It was the best thing we ever did.

Yet what did my Self do at that time? It saw the move as a prison. We had emigrated as assisted migrants – the Australian government had paid our airfares to migrate. It cost us just forty-seven pounds for the whole family to fly there but, of course, if we wanted to go back we had to repay those airfares and also pay our own fares back. My Self kept harping about the friends I had left behind, my beautiful cottage, furniture, the personal items I had to leave behind, the children’s rocking horse. You name it, my Self was just not happy. It wanted to return to the comfort zone no matter how hard it had been. The fact that we were earning good money in our jobs, could buy new furniture and electrical items, and we had a huge house in which the lounge room alone was as big as the whole downstairs of the house we had lived in when we were in England did not matter. The Self was unhappy!

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Disasters – Continued

I lived in New Zealand for 8 years and I loved it there. Why? Because it was like going back in time. Shops closed at 1pm in most towns at that time. For me it was like living back in England. It was “sleepy hollow” to me, a place where time never moved or much change took place. It was ideal for my personality of not wanting change. I plodded along each day. I worked hard, but it was the same routine each day. My Self loved routine. I would go back to Australia to visit family and friends, and so much change had taken place in my absence that it was very visible, but then I went back to New Zealand, back to sleepy hollow and the same old routine.

I also visited Japan three times and each time I became aware of the way the Japanese people were stuck in their ways – to the old way of living. Tokyo was very modern and populated by a lot of younger people, but as I traveled out of Tokyo I found so much fear – fear of change and fear of anything new – especially from the older generation.

I had a student who loved her metaphysical studies, but her family was in such fear of these practices that they forbade her to study them. Of course she did, but not with me. She had to study alone through books. Here was a brilliant healer, a channel, a beautiful soul who was not allowed to change and incorporate new ideas because her family was so into the old ways and feared losing those old ways and moving into the new. It was the same with the majority of more mature people in Japan.

I watched the earthquake events last week and could only hope and pray that my old student is OK, as she lives near a nuclear reactor on the coast, right on the sea. After this disaster, I also wondered if her family will still try to live in the past. I don’t think I will ever know.

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Disasters – Continued

Each time the Universe moved me on, I had to learn to start all over again. I was used to one way of doing things – habitual – then suddenly I was facing change and, although it looked exciting, it scared the Self to pieces. I had not nurtured the Higher Self then, although in my second Saturn return I understood the Self a lot more than I did prior to this change. Still, I felt the fear. Even more fear was created with my connection to Alan and a past life we had together as we entered that union.

I watch people’s energy as they sit in my office and I tell them they are going to make a lot of changes in their life. The aura around most of them becomes rigid, and they go into immediate denial. “Oh, I cannot make changes. I have my job, home, husband, children, etc.” They make all of the excuses the Self can think of, and most of them will change the subject rather than talk about the change. I do not spend time on the subject unless they show interest. It just evokes more fear.

As I stated earlier in this blog, why do we fight change? Yes, it is because we fear the unknown. That, and the fact that we may not be able to cope with new experiences – have the education to cope with them or consider ourselves not good enough for change. But most of all it is because we are happy in our comfort zone, even (as often as I see it) if that comfort zone is not making us happy. Better to stay where we are than move to something we do not know. When disaster strikes, it forces us to move on. For some reason, our Self drives us to attract change in order to force us to move on. It will not do it voluntarily!

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Disasters

So much is happening around the world – earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, and other forms of disaster. They have all happened before. Yes, that is correct, they have all happened before. So many people have written to me in the last few weeks asking if what is happening has to do with the end of the world and what has been predicted for 2012? I have to say that it could be, because the forecast for that time by seers and prophets has been very dire and frightening. But what we have to remember is that, for as long as I can remember (and in recorded history itself), disasters have happened. It is nothing new, but why do they happen? They happen because it is nature’s way of making us change. As a human civilization, we do not like change. The majority of us fight change because change brings unknown happenings in our lives, and we always like to be prepared. We do not like the unknown because we may not have the knowledge, experience, or awareness to deal with something we do not know.

I know that in my own life I have had so much fear of change when forced into it by nature or by Spirit. I have fought such a battle with the energy of moving on. One cannot fight change though, for if you do not move, the Universe will move you on anyway and find a way to do so. Each time for me, it has involved losing all I held dear in the form of material possessions. The first was in my Saturn return at age 29 by leaving England for Australia and having to leave everything I had behind. We arrived in Australia with 5 suitcases of clothes and a small case of favorite soft toys for the children. Then, again, in my mid-30’s when I lost almost everything I had created in Australia in a recession. Then in my second Saturn return, I left Australia for the USA and married Alan. Once again, I left behind everything, apart from a few books I had in Australia.
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