Going Back in Time – Continued

I believe that the energy known as God put us on this earth plane to be together in some way, not necessarily in marriage, for marriage – I believe – is man-made. It is a choice many make. I even made it. For some it is the same-sex partner, but it is nice to share our lives with someone. Most of us long for that “special one,” and some of us find that person, but we are all meant to be together with someone. We do not understand each other though, and only when we understand that we are all different – can function as different yet still be together – can we really be happy with someone else.

In the beginning, Alan could not understand why I did not want to do what he wanted to do at times and why I did things differently, for example, why I did not like the foods he liked. Like me, he had to learn that we are all different, and to be different does not mean that we are weird or crazy in any way. We are different. As one person said to me the other day, “Men think through their penis,” and this is true; men are designed that way. After being a man for a day (written about in a previous blog), I understand exactly where a man is coming from. Women want the princess gown, the prince charming, the kisses, cuddles, affection, and the fairy tale! I still like to be kissed and cuddled by Alan. For him it is something he does not crave, but he knows it pleases me. It is a part of who I am, and he tries very hard to please me and do that function even if in his makeup it is not the same feeling as I have. He enjoys it, but it is not an in-built need like it is with me and most women.


Going back in Time – Continued

It was only after the baby – a little girl – was born and I was in the hospital all alone that I began to become aware of my actions, what I had done, and how obsessive I had been. Whether it was Spirit or just my awareness that I created it I do not know, but I became aware of my need for affection and love. I looked back over the 5 years of being with Pete and came to the realization that I was the one who had pursued the whole affair. He was too weak to fight me or too frightened. I could not blame the baby and what happened to him; it was all my doing. I could have had an abortion, but no, I was going to make him suffer or want to be with me again. The moment I became aware of my own folly and of what I had done I was mortified. I felt ashamed, guilty, and after the adoption had taken place, I wrote him a long letter telling him I did not blame him. He wrote back and said he had to get married. Cathy, his girlfriend, was pregnant and basically he was, in a way, asking me to go back with him.

Of course, I didn’t. A year later I married the man who was in the army, but this time my relationship was different. When we were courting before we married, I did not allow myself to become obsessed with him. We wrote to each other for some time before we got married as he was overseas. I had grown enormously, and my life was different because of that growth. I was no longer desperate for love, but I was witnessing people around me who were. I could recognize their issues because of what I had gone through myself. Forty years later I was again looking at the same syndrome with the beautiful young woman sitting before me.



What is love? Many have tried to give an answer to this question and many think they know the answer. Love is the need within you to share with another person – no matter what sex – a closeness and to give and receive affection.

The sexual union with two who have no love is just an action. It can please, but it cannot satisfy the soul. Only when one has an open heart and can feel emotion for the person sharing the experience can the sexual act then become a momentous occasion. When love is in action it is demonstrated by both partners in the sharing of affection, kindness, and consideration to each other. If a partner is ill, then caring for that person becomes a caring experience. If there is no love, it can become a chore.

Everyone on the earth plane has a need for physical affection; it is a part of your being. If it is denied then the heart closes and the body becomes cold and immobile. When it is touched in affection then it opens like a rose after a cold winter. When one loves another, one does not criticize the other. You accept each other for the uniqueness that you are, two different beings who vibrate to a different tune. Even twins vibrate to their own tune. All human beings are different from each other, yet you try to make your partner like you. You cling in your relationships and you may manipulate your partner to change. However when there is love, then you accept your partner for their difference and do not criticize or try to change and manipulate.

If you want to know love, then let go of your fear. Understand that your partner is different from you. They cannot be you, and you cannot be them. Accept their uniqueness and, if you cannot, then the partner is not for you. If this is so, move on so that you may experience happiness and try to maintain friendship in the relationship that has ended. Love comes from the heart center. It is totally embracing and, for those who feel it – either from another human being or from the divine source, they truly know happiness. They also know love.