Reading those books completely changed my mind, because they enabled me to see how I could change the thinking. I began immediately to say affirmations about the areas of my life I had problems with, including the self-esteem and confidence factor. I noticed a marked difference in my behavior a short time after, and so did everyone else. But more than once it did not work, and I would go right back into “father mode” again. As time passed I did get a lot better, but the self-confidence & self-esteem issue was so difficult to remove from my being. It even created problems for me in watching myself on video (I just could not do it), and it also affected my relationships with others. Although on the surface I had a great deal of confidence or seemed to have, I really did not, I was so fearful of anyone finding out that I was stupid or incapable of being a good person.
When Alan came into my life the fact that he is younger than I and what I consider very handsome took me right back into old mode again. Why would he want me? What did he see in me? I could not come to terms with the fact he actually liked me and even more, loved me. Alan realized that and began every day saying something positive about me. He would tell me I was a beautiful woman, that I was very special to him, or words such as that. I, of course, said it was a load of rubbish and refused to believe he could feel the way he did. It has taken four years of affirmations and compliments for me to finally accept that I am not stupid, an idiot, a blockhead or any of the words my father used. I could never see myself as beautiful, but I can now.