It made me think of how many times we do explode and have anger. Yet if we just wrote down that emotion – whether we emailed/mailed it or not – how much easier it would be without all the drama, stress etc., I was looking for things externally to explain the problems I had endured and were still were, and yet the answer was so easy. I just could not access it. The Self loved the dramatics, but finally the Higher Self said, (Yawn) “Do we have to go through the drama again?” and finally showed me a better way.
Both Alan and I as Libra’s have hated upsetting anyone. We have feared rejection, and only a few weeks ago Alan made mention of the fact that he does not complain. He puts up with the situation until it explodes within him, just like it did with me. I thought of the world and what if everyone in the world, instead of getting angry, just wrote their feelings down. I am sure the world would be a better place.
There was something for me about writing it down. First of all I was able to shut off the anger which wanted to come out. I felt quite a peace sitting at the keyboard and typing the letter, I was able to see the situation better, clearer, and was able to write of the experience with clarity. I chose not to put Alan’s name on the email; it was my complaint after all – MY truth – nobody else’s. It felt so good to express my frustrations and say what I felt. After I had wrote it and emailed it, it was gone.
In the past I would have allowed the Self to stew on it until there was very little meat left. Boy, what an “Aha” moment! I remember when I first moved in with Alan how embarrassed he had been over my complaining about things publicly – and also quite vocally – yet without anger. At that time, I had just started doing it and I basically shut it down because it affected him, and each time I said I would do it he would talk me out of it.