As I grew older and, especially when I became involved in metaphysics, I began to realize that God is not a “person” but a collective energy of all love. It does not judge, criticize, or blame us; it just accepts us and loves us unconditionally. However, I came to realize that energy also is not responsible for our life on the earth plane. We are responsible and we chose that experience before birth. For me, it was the most important awareness I would have. It meant I could no longer blame anyone for my mistakes, choices, etc. I am the creator of my own reality. I had blamed everyone until then for my life – my father, mother, job situation, family, brother, etc. – but now I could not blame anyone; the blame stopped with me.
It was so hard for me to let go of blaming others, but as time passed I learned to do this. As each situation was faced, whether it was a fear, a doubt, or a belief situation, I would find myself becoming more and more psychic, more and more intuitive. I could actually feel the new energy coursing through my body and, as it did so, I began to de-age. I have photographs of myself from 20 years ago and I look so old. Yet today when I tell people my age, they are shocked as I certainly do not look my age. Of course I have my times when I look terrible – especially after doing a weekend of work in LA which was very demanding physically and emotionally. I had no make-up on; we had taken the car back to the rental company and, as Alan was turning it in, the woman who was doing the inspection said, “Oh, I did not see your mother there, sir.” I will tell you at that moment I felt 70 and probably looked it also. But most of the time I do have a younger look, and of course it is all attributed to the energy I channel.