Recently, I consulted with Tishelle Betterman the astrologer at our Seattle Institute of Metaphysics about my future and what was happening in my life. I was going through energy changes on all levels and was finding it a bit hard to handle. Tishelle asked me what I was doing in 1977. She said because what happened then was repeating itself; if there had been a bad outcome before, it would not be so again this time. This time I would get the rewards!
I thought back to that time in 1977, and to begin with, I could not remember if anything significant had happened, and then it dawned on me that was the year I started my radio career on a small community radio station in Campbelltown in New South Wales, Australia. I had gone to the radio station to do some volunteer work and had stood in for someone who did not turn up to do their show. The following week when the person returned, the switchboard went crazy with everyone requesting for me, and a few weeks later, I was offered my own radio show which eventually ran for three hours every Friday morning. I LOVED it. I felt as if I was born for radio once I began. I even did my own panel – the electronics panel that was necessary to do radio shows in those days, with a reel-to-reel tape recorder and no CDs or records of the old 45 and 78 rpm type.
I often tell people I have no left brain and have difficulty understanding electronics. But someone must have been with me each week when I did my show because I did the show on my own, with electronics and everything associated with that. At that time of my life, I was not very good at communicating what I felt. If anyone upset me, I would not let them know. If someone challenged me, I either justified myself so much it was embarrassing being with me and seeing me do it, or I just shut up, bottled the feelings inside and went on with life. Much later on, those feelings would come to the surface with such a power and rush as I entered my spiritual development.
I raised a lot of money for the radio station, and learned so much about media and public work. I must state now that at that time I was NOT the spiritual person I am today. I was a member then of the Baha’i Faith, but certainly not aware one day I would deep trance channel a Master! My show became the most popular show on the radio station. I took listeners away from the top radio personalities on the normal radio bands (I was on a community broadcast station, like Public TV in the USA, and I did not get paid for my show or the time it took to prepare it. I even had to play my own records on my show.) We did outside broadcasts where we would be swamped with people wanting to meet me and be in my energy. I used to love these because there would be so much energy going from me towards the people who came to see me. I did not realize it was the Master’s energy at that time, or that it fed my lonely ego, and that I had carried that energy all of my life!
My downfall was that I was not confident. Yes, I could do an on-air show, but saw myself as a piece of dog meat. I had tremendous fear of rejection and failure. My radio personality was outgoing, vivacious, full of energy. The private Margaret was shy, retiring, fearful, low in confidence, and had no vision of herself – you name it! The show lasted for three years, and finally came to an end when I chose to stand for elections. The sitting committee of the radio station, who did not want me in office, despite my raising hundreds and thousands of dollars for them, managed to get all of the proxy votes, (these are absentee votes and postal votes) and used them for themselves, having their names put on them. I was not elected to office and after three years of hard work, I chose to walk away. I let nobody know how I felt, I did not speak my truth quietly and clearly. I tried to justify myself and my actions when people reacted against what I was doing and gave energy to it, making things even worse. They did not even tell people on my show that it was taken over by someone else and I would no longer be there.
My husband and I moved one hour away to the country and I became a housewife again, and it was here that my spiritual and psychic life began and I left the Baha’i faith to do this. As I pondered on Tishelle’s question, I realized that I was once again beginning a radio career with Contact Radio in Seattle ( www.contacttalkradio.com) and going to be doing regular shows in the future. It was a replay basically of before, although it is not a community radio station, as Contact Radio is an alternative radio station.
What a difference after 30 years! I can now speak my truth, I have abundant confidence, see myself as a beautiful person and a vessel for the Master, and I now have all the things I lacked in that time period of 1977. Saturn in its teaching has forced me to learn many things over the last 30 years, sometimes may I add – very painfully! Nor do I justify myself anymore. This week two people wrote to me about situations they did not like, one about a reading, and one about a course. I wrote back to these people stating the truth. One felt she was being ripped off, and I stated with truth in my heart, I did not feel I was ripping anyone off. I could stand in front of God at any time and know this. It was a similar thing with the other person. I actually spoke my truth quietly and clearly! I did not spend three whole pages of notepaper justifying myself, which I would have done years ago. I have finally learned the lesson. It has taken me 30 years to learn it! However, I have to thank those two people so much because they allowed me to see that I HAVE learned the lesson and am no longer the timid shy person I was once.
It has been a LONG journey travelling to this point. I have gone backwards and forwards so many times I thought I would never make it. But I did. I am now looking forward to the future very much, and I know now I will get the rewards finally. Nothing will stand in my way of taking the Master to the world, allowing his energy to transform it as he does when he teaches and to reach out to those who seek him out. Everything is finally in place to do that, astrologically and in my life personally, and all I have to do is walk ahead with my head held high and the Master’s energy in my body. It really is a wonderful feeling knowing you have learned your lessons and can move forward. May I say though that I may have learned those lessons, I am sure the Master will find others for me to be aware of just to keep me from being bored!!