I recently read a letter from a woman to the Master, bemoaning the fact that her spiritual development was taking her longer than she thought it should. I felt for this woman because I too, was of the same opinion many years ago. I remember in 1992 after I had been working for 7 years doing readings and healing, and just before the Master came into my life, being told by a reader whom I had gone to consult about my pending marriage breakup, “You will be a very spiritual woman once you have gone through your development”. To me, at that stage, I had gone through my development and was now ready for the next stage. Had I known it was to take another 7 years before I finally came through and was deemed worthy to work with the Master on a global level, I would have never continued on.
This year, 2003, on October 22nd in Sydney, Australia, the Master starts his public work. He has chosen to start his work in a club where people who are not spiritual can see the work of spirit by demonstration, but also where he can do some basic teaching. As he has said, he is now ready, and I am ready to work with him on this level.
When I think back 11 years to 1992, I cannot believe how ego based I was to believe I had finished my development. I was not to know that my husband Peter was going to be the catalyst for further development by mirroring for me all that I feared, and that he would also push me gently to a belief in myself as worthy of doing the work with the Master.
Looking back over the last 11 years, I wonder how I got through. Facing my fear was the hardest thing of all to do, and the fact that it was played out on public television made it worse. The changes which took place as I went up each step of vibration, I cannot describe, I can say one thing, they were not pleasant. They did however enable me to move forward spiritually very quickly.
I was originally of the opinion that spiritual development was a case of learning about spirit and reading a few books. How naive I was to think that. Spiritual development is about letting go of all fear, lack of confidence, putting a worth on yourself, believing in yourself, facing your karma, repaying your karma (which can sometimes be painful) until finally, there is nothing left of you but the Higher Self. When you get to that stage, it is the most beautiful moment in your life.
I tried to run away in the last seven years so many times; Peter came after me many times and took me back. Many times another friend would help him too, and always after each episode I would break down and cry and have a massive healing crisis. I honestly don’t know how I managed to get through. I did though, and now, through the courses and with the Master, I am able to help others.
I am still learning, even though I am now out of my training. I never stop learning. I also have to be careful that I do not slip back, because in the illusion of the Earth plane, it is so easy to do that.
I was asked a few days ago if I would change anything about my training? I said I would not. even though it was hard, and many times I wanted to run away and not face things. At times I even contemplated suicide, the Self would do anything not to lose control. I came through though, and now feel so proud of doing so. Not in an ego way, but I just feel complete now, as if I have achieved my destiny.
When I read the woman’s letter to the Master, it brought back so many memories of the last 7 years, and the hard road I travelled. I felt I wanted to write about my path, and one day I will finish my autobiography and people will be able to read about it in full. I don’t think this woman realizes that despite all the work she has done, there is still much ahead. It is so difficult trying to tell people this kind of thing. Like me, they have often been doing work on themselves for a long time. It is not for you to question either, you will know you have finished your development when you no longer have any opposition to what you do, and every thought you have manifests immediately. When life flows so easily for you, you cannot believe it, and where every day you get out of bed and love life and the world. Where you are one with God every moment, and all desires for the Earth plane material things is no longer there, but you know when you need something it will manifest. When nothing fazes you, or bothers you, and where you give nothing any energy, but just live in your own energy in the now. When each day is complete bliss. Oh yes, the reward at the end is incredible!